She/her | 23 | Insomniac writer, tea enthusiast, fulltime overthinker, citizen of the world
when I was a kid my parents had a hard time getting me out of bed in the morning so my dad started doing the dad dance (which is just a funny little dance) when he woke me up. he’s staying in my apartment bc he’s in the city for vacation and he wakes me up in the morning and if I won’t get up he’s like “do we need the dad dance right now 🤔” I’m 22 and it’s making me emotional. it sounds cuter in norwegian he calls it pappadansen
The fact that the WSJ editorial board is comprised of a bunch of geriatric reactionaries who don't understand slang has accidentally led to the most badass headline in the newspaper's history
Unrestrained summer fun
[Gif ID: two gifs of a shark leaping from the water, spinning in the air sporadically. End ID]
Somebody give me creative reigns for a TV show. Picture this - Elvira and Dolly Parton starring side-by-side as twin sisters, both witches from humble roots. They’ve each lived wild lives independently and with a little huffy hostility towards each other, following different paths to become powerful enchantresses. As they reach old age, they realize the only thing they can’t replace with magic…. is family.
This is the greatest day of my life.
vampires have been drinking human blood for centuries they don’t give a fuck about guys on eight different antidepressants. they were sucking on asbestos factory workers
The absolutely hilarity of imagining some older vampires hectoring younger ones. “Back in my day, I had to drink blood with radium in it and I liked it! We glowed in the damn dark for weeks!”
Slab of brittle sea star fossils.
The look like the stars from Howls moving castle
Romance isnt dead
I don’t know how to tell you this but they are, in fact, dead
moms are like Btw want to hear about this local news story that will make you fear for your life before you go out
This is the best ad I've gotten since they added the Tumblr Blaze feature thank you tumblr user plaguerightsactivist for using this new feature correctly
the only criticism of millennials l accept
Constructive Criticism
My Eco-Terrorist Son is Absolutely Dripless
I still spend days, weeks every year thinking about how this critique pre-dates the advent of Programming Socks™ and cat-ear headphones, and asking myself, “did the Hacker Aesthetic go from Unfortunate Sweatshirts to Neon Catgirlgender Fantasy because of John Waters? Did he do this???”
simply cannot ever resist what i call the little mermaid or the tin man or the pinnochio plot, the one about a character who is either inhuman or human but outside in some way, constantly searching for whatever it is that they consider to be the quintessential proof of humanity, preoccupied by it so deeply that they fail to realize the proof is in the act and fact of the search itself
I did that job once.
What are your pronouns and would you like to join my union
